I have really struggled this week writing my blog, not only in writing this, but I have been torn as to whether I should even post it once I finished. Torn as it may be inappropriate, it may be too soon and then you have a subject most try and avoid.

I met someone a couple of weeks ago through meditation who gave me the inspiration to write my blog Roots and Wings. It was from that brief first meeting in time that certain things in my life were forever changed. It’s funny how when we first met, I instantly felt that feeling of insecurity about myself and thought for some crazy reason she wouldn’t like me. I have had that a lot in my past, people either like or dislike me, I am used to this, but I don’t usually let it bother me, but this time it was different.

Throughout the day I listened to her as she gave advice and her views on conversations and I completely admired her strengths, understanding and compassion for people. She had a raw but ethical heart and after speaking with her, I knew for certain that she had been through hell and back with the trauma she had endured over the years, yet she was so full of love and kindness.

As soon as we started speaking, the insecurity faded and I realised it was in my head and not her at all. We instantly connected and ended up talking for hours which felt like minutes, no subject was off limits and she truly helped me with certain things I had been struggling with and gave closure to feelings I had and opened up so many new opportunities for me, it truly was the best advice I could have received at that moment. I left that meditation on cloud nine and everything just fell into place and I kept saying to my family the block was gone and I thought I had had some sort of epiphany, everything just made so much more sense and I realised that I had completely lost patience with my journey.

You see I had been focusing so much on where I was wanting to go, I had been over thinking every move and felt semi-lost. But her words did something that resonated with me and I found the acceptance and patience I required.

It broke my heart to find out that her demons had got too much for her and she had taken her own life. I have no words to describe what her family are going through at this moment, she was an absolutely beautiful, kind and most generous soul and I cannot believe this has happened.

Suicide is a subject that people do not like to talk about, but for my family, it hits very close to home as we have experienced it first-hand. You can meet someone who is so enthusiastic and have no idea weeks later this would be, as for that brief moment in time she had no idea how greatly she had impacted my life and so many others.

I wish you could hold a mirror to any person struggling and let them see themselves how you see them, so they could see their reflection and see all the beautiful and most inspiring qualities you see in them. I know this can sound childish, but I really do wish her pain could have been erased. She had helped so many others struggling in her time because of her own trauma, but each time helping another stirred up her own pain over and over again.

You never know where someone is at in their journey in life and you most certainly don’t know where someone has been or what they have experienced and that is why it is so important not to make judgements on others, as you do not know the events that have led to this current moment.

I thank her for the time I did get, for all those that were healed and inspired by her words and the lasting effect she left on people and my heart goes to those left behind.

I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week, be true and kind to one another and please remember… not to judge others, you never know what someone is going through and always appreciate the time you do get with those around you, as time is so precious.

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